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Wednesday, March 5, 2008

JOYFUL MOTHER AT LAST, AFTER 23 YEARS OF BARRENNESS

When I got married to my husband, we were living happily without problems. I never knew that however joyful life may be, it must have its tempting hours. My husband loved me so much and he cared for me as the bone of his bone and the flesh of his flesh. Great love was between us; we hardly had problems, but when three years into our marriage, I still hadn’t conceived, tongues started wagging. People started spreading false rumours. The members of my husband’s family gathered against me for not bearing a child. My mother-in-law became very angry and mad with me. She did not want to set her eyes on me. She called me all sorts of names like ‘good for nothing woman.’

My husband and I started visiting hospitals, going from one hospital to another for solution. At the first hospital we visited after several tests were carried out, the doctor diagnosed damage in my womb. He said that the damage had resulted in infertility. My husband couldn’t believe what he heard; he became angry with the doctor. We left the hospital for another one.

From that time, we went from one hospital to the other, from house of prayer to house of prayer, yet there was no solution. My husband’s relations made me an object of laughter and mockery. I could not talk in my husband’s house. I was treated like a house help. I was regarded as a stranger. The sense of belonging was not there. I was always in a sorrowful spirit. When others were sleeping, enjoying their sleep, I wet my pillow with uncontrollable tears. I was crying because of my affliction. Whenever you see a woman looking desperately for the fruit of the womb, pity her.

I kept thinking everyday. My husband’s family advised him to marry another woman. He refused, because he loved me so much. He and I kept on visiting hospitals, taking various types of treatment, all to no avail. I felt very worried, asking why I should be in this problem and how long this difficult time would last. We went to hospitals in other states. We went to Port Harcourt, Calabar, Enugu, just to name a few. Without hesitation, we went to these hospitals, but all our efforts failed. Doctors were still saying the same thing, singing the same old song. In the process of searching for solution, my husband lost his job for absenting himself from office. This simply compounded our problems.

Things became so hard and very tough. I didn’t know what came upon my marriage. Every minute, my face was bathed in tears, but weeping did not solve my problem.
Later, we went to a renowned hospital in Lagos. The gynaecologist there out of pity asked us to go for child adoption. I supported this advice but my loving husband refused to give his consent. God is an instructor and the word of God is a channel of instruction. In the Bible, God instructed husbands to love their wives. My husband acted in obedience to God’s command but his people saw God’s instruction as foolishness, not knowing that the foolishness of God is wiser than men.

I went to various places with my husband. I don’t want to mention some of the places I went to with my sympathizing friends. My good friends took me to so many herbal homes and native doctors, giving me the assurance that I would conceive. In all these places, I did not get any solution. To me, it seemed my problem could not be solved. I didn’t know God was working out an answer to my problem. It was a trial and a traumatic experience. I do not wish this experience on any child of God.

In all this, my husband was patient and compassionate. He knew that our suffering was not God’s will. His sisters who had initially supported our union, turned fully against me. They said that I held my husband with charms, that I used magical sentences to talk to my husband, preventing him from seeing other women.

All sorts of rumours were going round. It was rumoured that I did not have a womb. My eyes poured out tears unto God. I was always in the bitterness of sorrow. I didn’t know that I was under a curse. My stepmother had put a curse on me that I would not conceive all the days of my life. This is a woman that I loved so much. Anything that I gave to my mother, I gave her also, not knowing that she was the one responsible for all that I was passing through. Her reason for cursing me was that I married before her daughter. By the time I discovered why we had this problem, we had been married for 18 years.

One day my mother-in-law came and ordered me out of the house. My husband came out with me. She was furious. Suddenly, she brought out a knife and threatened to stab herself if I did not leave her son’s house. She held the knife firmly to herself. Her eyes were red. I was frightened, when I knew she really meant to stab herself. His mother was angry with him for taking the foolish decision of not getting married to another woman. I wept and wept, begging her on my knees, but she turned a deaf ear, insisting that I should go to my parent’s house, that all she needed was a grand child. I cried my eyes out with a broken heart. When we saw that she was not listening to our pleas, my husband pleaded with me to take some of my things and go to my parent’s house to stay for some time.

A lot of people condemned her actions. After thinking for a while, not knowing what fate had in store for me, I obeyed my husband. I packed and went to the village. My husband promised to visit me. I stayed with my mother as my father is late. If my father were alive, with all the distress, he wouldn’t have allowed me to go back to my husband.

My family members frowned at their actions and ill treatment. I stayed with my mother for two years. During my stay in the village, my husband visited as he promised. Later, he took me back home. By the time I got back to the city, I had already built my hope in Christ Jesus. I decided not to go anywhere again in search of a solution. I prayed without ceasing, asking God to intervene in my case. When I returned, the fight was fierce but God said I should not fear. I looked to Christ, the author and finisher of my faith.

My husband’s family came up with the issue of a new wife since he refused to adopt a child. I supported them for peace to reign in the family. My house was in chaos. There was nothing else I could do than to welcome the idea since to them that was the best solution. The date of the traditional marriage for the new wife was fixed.

One fateful Wednesday morning, I woke up with a fever and loss of appetite. It was four months to the date fixed for the traditional marriage engagement. My husband in his usual loving and caring manner suggested that we go to the hospital, attributing it to be symptoms of malaria. We went to a nearby hospital for malaria test. The result was negative. The doctor advised me to do a pregnancy test. We were reluctant to do it. At last, it was done. When the result of the pregnancy test came out, we saw smiles on the doctor’s face. He congratulated us and said: “the result of the test showed positive.” We could not believe his report. I collapsed, but the doctor revived me. I saw tears of joy flowing from my husband’s eyes.
Provides fertility information on options available for achieving conception.
My husband quickly informed his family on this latest development. The news circulated round the whole village. God in the multitude of his mercy and his great power cancelled the slated marriage plans for a new wife by compensating me adequately at the right time. Nine months later, I was delivered of a bouncing baby girl. I became a wonder to many people. They did not have the understanding that when things look impossible, that is when God works, and when things go wrong, He, Jehovah, will make it right.

Today, I am the proud mother of two boys and a girl. This shows that prayer is powerful and God answers prayers. God is a barrenness bulldozer. Jehovah in his infinite mercy delivered me from the embargo that hindered me for 23 horrible years. He also lifted my husband from grace to grace; he now doing very well in business.

That same God who is able to do abundantly above all that we ask would do it for you – no matter how long it has taken. Though it tarries, it must surely come to pass. The God who does what no man can do, the Lord who appreciates your problems, who in not unaware of it, will do it for you. He will visit your ugly situation and put joy in your heart. Stop weeping, stop crying, stop complaining about your condition; don’t do it yourself, take it to the Lord in prayer. Don’t care about what people are saying about you. God is a winner, you must win every battle. To the barren, God says, sing; to you who have not borne, the Lord says you should break forth into singing. Sing aloud, you who have not laboured with child. When the hand of God touches your womb, you will not remember the shame of barrenness and childlessness. Let this testimony minister grace and peace to you.