A MOTHER AT LAST AFTER 23 YEARS OF MARRIAGE: Yemi’s story

Baby Akinkunmi's dedication

What can I say? All I can do is to be thankful for God’s mercy. As I write, my little baby is fast asleep beside me; I am a mother after 23 years of marriage but we never envisioned such a long wait. Before our marriage, my husband and I had mapped and planned out our lives: we would start a family after 5 years when all additional and higher education was completed and we were financially stable. However when we were ready about 5 years into our marriage, life had other plans for us… no pregnancy was forthcoming.

Early tests revealed azoospermia. My husband’s doctor friend told him he should have hidden the test result from me as some wives have been known to run away in similar cases. A nurse advised me that in Africa, there was no ‘barren’ man and another woman may come later with a ‘manufactured’ baby for my husband so I should go ‘out’ to get a boyfriend that would impregnate me. When I objected saying I was a Christian, she laughed. So began our fertility journey. We were not worried though. We felt that as long as we had God and each other, we would overcome. We determined never to resort to native doctors, anything fetish or even ‘prophets’ and decided to first try some natural fertility herbs whose practitioner we had read about in the newspapers. This brought about a breakthrough but not enough to produce results. We told no one and confided in no one about our fertility struggles so it was quite a lonely journey for me who had very few friends. Neither of our families pressurized us but I pressurized myself as the years passed. Google became my closest friend and many nights I researched long and hard, often into the early hours for solution. Occasionally my father-in-law suggested steps and concoctions which we rejected.

Medically, we tried EVERYTHING. In 2005/2006, our gynaecologist referred us for Assisted Reproductive Treatment at one of the best clinics in the country. We sold practically all of our investments to pay for some treatment cycles but they ended in failure and was a painful and colossal waste of money.

We joined the Laughter Church early 2007, praying and doing all the assignments. We were soon after able to see the General Overseer for prayer. In between we occasionally saw other men of God for prayer and also went through some more medical treatment. In London in 2008, I was able to see a famous man of God who I would not otherwise have been able to see back in Nigeria and he also prayed for us.

In 2010, I lost my dad in traumatic and devastating circumstances and also painfully lost my first ever pregnancy later that same year. Meanwhile, we continued to pray and hope, taking all sorts of supplements, changing to a more natural diet and doing colon cleansing, enemas, hydrotherapy, needle acupuncture, reflexology , castor oil pack treatments, femoral artery massages, fertility massages, full body massages, oil pulling, expensive hormone injections - you name it; anything my research indicated would be helpful. No chemist or pharmacy no matter the location, was too far or inaccessible in my frequent search for often scarce supplements. I became a regular at some laboratories, constantly testing to see whether medications had worked. Demoralised, I stopped going to one particular lab at Yaba when I was greeted with, “you again! Go for injection that will shoot it up instead of wasting time on medications.”(as if it was that easy!).

At a certain point in time I was traveling regularly to Molipa Estate, Ijebu Ode to purchase imported herbal supplements from a popular herbal practitioner there because it was a more regular source. Went also for herbs at the famous Elizabeth Kafaru clinic in Ikeja before she passed on. I won’t forget also my regular visits to a Catholic church at Maryland, Lagos to purchase the Pax herbal supplements of the Ewu monks. . There were others, as long as we were sure it was purely herbal with no spiritual attachment. Can I also forget several months of treatment (including rushing from my brother’s wedding for ovulation tracking at the clinic) with another natural health practitioner , who was also a pastor at Canaan land?

I recall too, going in search of an advertiser that promised his patients would get pregnant within one month; needless to say, his treatment did not work. There were a few others over the years that I cannot readily remember. Can I forget going all out to purchase a particular advertised supplement that promised results? Or the Mushin pharmacy that dealt in wholesale imported supplements?

Meanwhile, the years were passing but I was not anxious because I fully trusted my partner and he could see the lengths I was going to find a solution. One thing that helped me during those long years was having a positive attitude and refusing to wear a long face anywhere. Whenever friends or relations cared to invite us for their child dedication or naming ceremonies, we went cheerfully to celebrate with them but one incident stands out; one day, my husband and I decided to visit some friends we had not seen for some time. Our surprise can only be imagined when we got to their house only for us to meet them hosting a naming ceremony for their new baby! Theirs was a prime example of the belief that we would not be happy for them because we were childless so we were kept in the dark about the birth and naming despite being ‘friends.’

2016 was finally our Year of Jubilee with the conception of our precious daughter. I registered at two different hospitals (one government and the other private) and was doing antenatal at those clinics simultaneously. We decided that despite the very harsh economic climate, we were taking no health chances and would birth the baby in the USA. God miraculously supplied our needs and gave us favour everywhere. It was favour at the US embassy where we were speedily given medical visas and favour at the Dallas POE with the friendly officers when I arrived there in my 35^th week of pregnancy and favour again with my high risk obgyn in El Paso who assessed and allowed me to have a normal vaginal delivery despite the very precious nature of my pregnancy and my advanced age!  Akinkunmi came on the 7th of December at 1.17 am [my dad would have been chuffed as he loved the number 7 and had even written a book about it ]        I give God all the glory.

I cried to God for many years to give me at least a child — Woman delivered of triplets

The Dillis

Mrs. Hope Lumsambani Dilli was recently delivered of triplets. She tells her story in an interview:

How long have you been married?

I have been married for 24 years.

How did you cope during the period of waiting to have children?

I suffered abuse and mockery. But with God, all things are possible. In my case, it’s not that God denied me the fruit of the womb. I got married on March 27, 1993. By April of that same year, I took in. In 1994, when it got to the time of delivery, I lost the pregnancy to a miscarriage. I suffered many miscarriages ever since.

How many miscarriages did you experience?

I had three miscarriages after the delivery of the first baby who did not survive at birth. I had two other miscarriages that occurred at five months of pregnancy and another which occurred at three months while I was pregnant.

What have you been doing?

Since the last 10 years, I did not take in. During this period, my husband and I continued in prayers, trusting that God would intervene. Our hope during the trying period has always been God.  At last, nothing is impossible with God.

What were the challenges you faced?

We had issues with my husband’s friends, friends, family and others. I cried at nights, calling on God to help me and wipe away my shame. I believed in His word and understood that delay is not denial. My husband also thought the same way as we both put our confidence in God. I have not wished them death but I have prayed for them to instead be alive to see what God can do.

Did you know you were pregnant with triplets?

No. It’s a great compensation for our long years of delay, for 24 years? I believe God has given us double for all our troubles.

How did you react when you got the result of the scan?

When I did the scan, they called my husband and told him I was pregnant with triplets. This is because my eyes could not believe what I saw. I began to feel somehow. It was with disbelief. For these marital blessings, what do I give God? Thanking God can never quantify the depth of my gratitude.  I don’t know how to appreciate Him for this gift.

What other challenges did you face while pregnant?

It was not easy. The devil wanted to create unhappiness in me by bringing up thoughts of my past failed pregnancies. I kept thinking, during the delivery, that something would go wrong. But I quickly rebuked the evil thoughts. I kept saying, “No, God, this time is my time. God you are going to do something this time round. I must carry my own children.”  I was delivered of the triplets at the Federal Medical Centre, Yola, the Adamawa State capital.

Did you lose hope at any time during the period?

Yes, there were times I was overwhelmed with worries. As a human being, sometimes, you can lose hope. There were many challenges which made me lose hope. The miscarriages and worries compounded my dilemma.

As I grow older, I became forlorn at some point. Like I said, sometimes, I found comfort in the scriptures and at other times, I was traumatised. I often entertained the thoughts that if the children from my previous pregnancies had survived, perhaps I won’t be in this condition. It was a mixture of depression and hope.

When I attended church conferences, and the preacher admonished believers not to lose hope but to have faith in God, I remembered my name which is Hope. I usually prayed, telling God to answer me based on my name though sometimes I thought of giving up.

You said you feared you were getting older. At what age did you give birth?

I am 44.

What memorable incident can you recall while waiting to give birth?

Weeping is the most memorable of them, especially when I heard somebody said, ‘Look at this barren woman’. If I didn’t weep after the mockery, I did so when I got home. I would sit down most times and cry to God that if there’s any sin that I had committed, that is responsible for my condition, He should please forgive me and bless me with children.

I said to him (God), “If it is only one child you can give me, I will appreciate it. I know that if I have just one child, no one would call me a barren woman again. It is far better.”  I knew that my husband heard unprintable statements against me by outsiders. Sometimes, we discussed the issue. I usually asked him to tell me some of the incidents. He asked me not to trouble myself, that God would do it for us. What has sustained my faith throughout this adversity was my husband’s support.

Were there times you contemplated visiting traditionalists?

Of course, that was until recently, because we didn’t know Christ then. We had to move from place to place seeking solutions. We did all that.

Did you get medical help or was it natural?

It is just God and nothing else. It is the doing of the Lord.

Were there times your husband came under any pressure from his family to take another wife to have a child?

No, even though he’s a man. Three months ago, someone called me to inform me that she heard that my husband wanted to take another wife. I told her, “It is well. If that is his wish, I don’t know anything about that one.’’

But I knew within me that her tale was not true. I wasn’t bothered. I told the woman I was not aware of such plans. This is because my husband never expressed such a desire.  In fact, he used to console me, saying, “Either you have a child or not, God is the giver of children. We should not disturb ourselves too much. It is God who is going to give you that gift and not man. So, forget about worrying.”

Couples are usually tempted to blame their partners as responsible for situations such as the one you had.  Did you experience same?

We had that experience. We felt each of us should go for medical examination. But that was a long time ago. We were told there was nothing wrong with both of us. Once we heard that, we just forgot about that aspect.

What is your advice to women waiting for some time to have children after marriage?

I encourage women who are passing through what I experienced to wait on God and not be troubled.  They should hold on to the word of God, because delay is not denial. One day, God would do it for them as He did it for me. I know that God is faithful and he will do what He’s promised to do to anybody. That’s my piece of advice to all women who are waiting on God for the fruit of the womb.

Source: the Punch newspapers

Quintuplets for Calabar couple married for ten years

The Edet Quintuplets

Early in the year 2017, it was joy and rejoicing for this blessed couple. They were blessed with quintuplets comprising three girls and two boys after waiting for ten years for the fruit of the womb.

The Quintuplets were delivered at the University of Calabar Teaching Hospital, Cross River State and it the first time the UCTH, and Cross River State as a whole is witnessing such a miracle.

The proud father of the quintuplets, Dr. Ekpo Edet, could not hold back his joy and excitement as he could be seen beaming with smiles. Dr Edet said “I want to thank God almighty, He’s a faithful God. The first time in the history of Cross River State, the first time in the history of UCTH. Five at a go! God has been just been faithful as we have concluded the first phase and the doctors have confirmed that the babies are kicking. We are entering into the second phase and I know it’s not going to be easy but I solicit for support from all well-meaning Nigerians, all my friends and well-wishers

Speaking upon meeting the parents of the quintuplets, Dr Linda Ayade, the wife of the governor expressed her delight as this was another first in the State’s history. She said it’s a sign of good tidings in the state and country at large. She thanked the new mother for opting for professional services of birth attendants. Her Excellency after showering the babies with prayers further made a donation of one million naira to the celebrating couple and another five hundred thousand naira to the medical experts who made sure the babies were delivered successfully.