The Dillis |
How long
have you been married?
How
did you cope during the period of waiting to have children?
I
suffered abuse and mockery. But with God, all things are possible. In my case,
it’s not that God denied me the fruit of the womb. I got married on March 27,
1993. By April of that same year, I took in. In 1994, when it got to the time
of delivery, I lost the pregnancy to a miscarriage. I suffered many
miscarriages ever since.
How many miscarriages did you experience?
I had
three miscarriages after the delivery of the first baby who did not survive at
birth. I had two other miscarriages that occurred at five months of pregnancy
and another which occurred at three months while I was pregnant.
What have
you been doing?
Since the
last 10 years, I did not take in. During this period, my husband and I
continued in prayers, trusting that God would intervene. Our hope during the
trying period has always been God. At last, nothing is impossible with
God.
What were
the challenges you faced?
We had
issues with my husband’s friends, friends, family and others. I cried at
nights, calling on God to help me and wipe away my shame. I believed in His
word and understood that delay is not denial. My husband also thought the same
way as we both put our confidence in God. I have not wished them death but I
have prayed for them to instead be alive to see what God can do.
Did
you know you were pregnant with triplets?
No. It’s
a great compensation for our long years of delay, for 24 years? I believe God
has given us double for all our troubles.
How did
you react when you got the result of the scan?
When I
did the scan, they called my husband and told him I was pregnant with triplets.
This is because my eyes could not believe what I saw. I began to feel somehow.
It was with disbelief. For these marital blessings, what do I give God?
Thanking God can never quantify the depth of my gratitude. I don’t know
how to appreciate Him for this gift.
What
other challenges did you face while pregnant?
It was
not easy. The devil wanted to create unhappiness in me by bringing up thoughts
of my past failed pregnancies. I kept thinking, during the delivery, that
something would go wrong. But I quickly rebuked the evil thoughts. I kept
saying, “No, God, this time is my time. God you are going to do something this
time round. I must carry my own children.” I was delivered of the
triplets at the Federal Medical Centre, Yola, the Adamawa State capital.
Did you
lose hope at any time during the period?
Yes,
there were times I was overwhelmed with worries. As a human being, sometimes,
you can lose hope. There were many challenges which made me lose hope. The
miscarriages and worries compounded my dilemma.
As I grow
older, I became forlorn at some point. Like I said, sometimes, I found comfort
in the scriptures and at other times, I was traumatised. I often entertained
the thoughts that if the children from my previous pregnancies had survived, perhaps
I won’t be in this condition. It was a mixture of depression and hope.
When I
attended church conferences, and the preacher admonished believers not to lose
hope but to have faith in God, I remembered my name which is Hope. I usually
prayed, telling God to answer me based on my name though sometimes I thought of
giving up.
You said
you feared you were getting older. At what age did you give birth?
I am 44.
What
memorable incident can you recall while waiting to give birth?
Weeping
is the most memorable of them, especially when I heard somebody said, ‘Look at
this barren woman’. If I didn’t weep after the mockery, I did so when I got
home. I would sit down most times and cry to God that if there’s any sin that I
had committed, that is responsible for my condition, He should please forgive
me and bless me with children.
I said to
him (God), “If it is only one child you can give me, I will appreciate it. I
know that if I have just one child, no one would call me a barren woman again.
It is far better.” I knew that my husband heard unprintable statements
against me by outsiders. Sometimes, we discussed the issue. I usually asked him
to tell me some of the incidents. He asked me not to trouble myself, that God
would do it for us. What has sustained my faith throughout this adversity was
my husband’s support.
Were
there times you contemplated visiting traditionalists?
Of
course, that was until recently, because we didn’t know Christ then. We had to
move from place to place seeking solutions. We did all that.
Did you
get medical help or was it natural?
It is
just God and nothing else. It is the doing of the Lord.
Were
there times your husband came under any pressure from his family to take
another wife to have a child?
No, even
though he’s a man. Three months ago, someone called me to inform me that she
heard that my husband wanted to take another wife. I told her, “It is well. If
that is his wish, I don’t know anything about that one.’’
But I
knew within me that her tale was not true. I wasn’t bothered. I told the woman
I was not aware of such plans. This is because my husband never expressed such
a desire. In fact, he used to console me, saying, “Either you have a
child or not, God is the giver of children. We should not disturb ourselves too
much. It is God who is going to give you that gift and not man. So, forget
about worrying.”
Couples
are usually tempted to blame their partners as responsible for situations such
as the one you had. Did you experience same?
We had
that experience. We felt each of us should go for medical examination. But that
was a long time ago. We were told there was nothing wrong with both of us. Once
we heard that, we just forgot about that aspect.
What is
your advice to women waiting for some time to have children after marriage?
I
encourage women who are passing through what I experienced to wait on God and
not be troubled. They should hold on to the word of God, because delay is
not denial. One day, God would do it for them as He did it for me. I know that
God is faithful and he will do what He’s promised to do to anybody. That’s my
piece of advice to all women who are waiting on God for the fruit of the womb.
Source: the Punch newspapers
Source: the Punch newspapers